2.

for the most part i have seen change come through my life like the turning of the tides – slow and steady rhythms taking me in new directions with a constant churn. ebb. flow. in. out. as predictable and even as breathing in sleep. 

but there have been a few crucial moments i can plot on a map. in a fraction of a second, in the span of a passing word – a look, a touch – and my whole life suddenly lifts up and away from its course, pivots abruptly and goes confidently in a new direction pulling me along in its wake.

last month i was given one of those moments. 

it came as a complete surprise, but then again, they always do. this one in the gift of a simple goodbye hug. in what initially began as a run-of-the-mill-goodnight, i was quietly relieved of over a decade's worth of negative self-talk. as the flesh behind my hips gently gave way beneath a gentle, confident hand, in its place, a grace i had yet to find on my own suddenly filled the void. for this one borrowed moment i was able to experience my body as another saw and felt it, and i could return to myself with the certainty that the soft yield of my skin behind my hips was just as it should be.

1.

i have spent the past few years regretting the negligence of a space i no longer fit. the lines have stretched out, the colors have faded, and it pains me to say a well-loved red dress sits outside my garage, waiting to be taken to goodwill.

on second thought, i'm glad the most recent load hasn't yet been donated. there are some things too precious to let go of. i have a house of my own now, with two attics, and i'm sure there is some out of the way corner i can give over to certain key relics of my past. i am, after all, a preservationist at heart.

for now, i'm claiming this corner for future moments to be pinned up in words, in the hopes they are hurtling toward me, eager to be on display, helping me put an end to the strange silence of the past several years.