5.

i received this last week on the back of a postcard from a friend. this is the message in its entirety:

the process of transformation consists almost entirely of decay! but the butterfly is so fit an emblem of the human soul that its name in greek is psyche, the word for soul. we have not much language to appreciate this phase of decay, this withdrawal, this era of ending that must precede beginning. nor of the violence of the metamorphosis, which is often spoken of as though it were as graceful as a flower blooming. 

-- rebecca solnit -- a field guide to getting lost

i keep returning to the quote, marveling at it finding me from the opposite side of the world by way of one who was oblivious to the current state of disrepair in my life. i do wish i could navigate change with the soft grace of my columbines, with the slow abundance of my roses, but currently i'm just holding on while letting go, hoping the beginning i invested so much in will find its way into the light again some day.